When You Want It Bad Enough You’ll Do It

 

 

When You Want It Bad Enough You'll Do It

 

I was in middle school.  My youth pastor and his wife both had such beautiful eye colors and when I asked about them, they told me they wore contacts.  

My response was, "I would NEVER put anything in my eyes!  Doesn't that hurt?"  

I could not fathom anyone choosing to endure the pain that must accompany foreign objects in their eyes.  

Even though they said it didn't hurt (and they didn't look like they were in any pain), I had other proof it did hurt.  

I mean, I know what it's like to have something in my eye and it hurts!  

I've had eyelashes and bugs and dirt from desert winds in my eyes.  My own experiences with objects in the eyes proved to myself that it's painful!  Don't tell me that things in your eyes don't hurt!

I was convinced at that moment, in a nano instant, that there was no doubt in my mind that if I ever had to wear glasses, I'd wear glasses.  

Never contacts.  

I would not even consider it as an option.  

This was a decision I would stand by. 

In fact, I remember pondering about it for a couple of days.  

I would never in a million years put objects in my eyes.  

The thought of it made me cringe.  

Fifteen years later, I found myself in the eye doctor's office, wringing my hands, fidgeting in my seat, and bopping my foot in nervous anxiety.  

It was everything I could do to not blink because if I did, the wetness that filled my eyes would tear down my face.  

I avoided eye contact with anyone.  

The time I spent in the waiting area seemed like an eternity.  

"When would my name be called?" I wondered.

My mind was racing.  

I was replaying the conversation of my youth as if it were yesterday and pondering the absolutely finality that I would never get contacts because of the pain I would have to endure.

The Other Side Of My Fear Was Desire

My heart was saying something different.  It was telling me that I DID in fact want contacts because I didn't like wearing glasses.  

They were annoying.  

They got dirty easy,

They fogged up too much.

I didn't like seeing the rims in my peripheral vision.  

I didn't feel pretty with big glasses on my face

I didn't like how they slid down my nose.  

For those reasons I was having to reconsider my childhood oath of never wearing contacts.

New Mindset and Attitude

I thought about how it feel good to wake up in the morning and not have to find my glasses. 

I thought about how it would make me feel to not have to have glasses attached to my face all day.  

I could be free from this wire and plastic mask.  

Not to mention, I could have blue eyes.  I always thought blue eyes were so pretty.  And now I could have that.

So here I was.  I was trying to answer so many questions in the terror of my mind.

Would I be able to touch my eyes?

Would it hurt?

Can I really do this?

"Debbie Turner?"  

My name was called like a slap in the face I jolted my head toward the woman standing in the doorway which lead down a long hallway.  

I must have had a grim look because the woman asked me if I was ok.  

"I'm fine, thanks"  I answered.

I had to remind myself I was there by my own choosing.  

Nobody was making me do this!  

I could stop this self inflicted horror any time I wanted!

It was up to me! 

I chose to follow her, she put me in a room, smiled and assured the doctor would be with me shortly.

There was only me, myself and I confined in this small dark room waiting where my mind would again search for reasons to stay.  

My nervousness was excallated and I thought I was going to faint.  

The doctor came in, did the exam and asked me what I wanted.

"Blue contacts", I answered.

"Then blue contacts it is.  Have you ever worn contacts before?" he asked.

I said, "No."  And I never told him how scared to death I was.

He said, "Okay, come out here and I'll get your contacts and show you how to put them in."

I followed him out to a little desk adorned with only an adjustable table mirror and a box of tissues.

He explained to me how to handle the lenses and walked me through how to insert them into my eyes.

He said, "Go ahead and put your first one in."

The moment of truth had arrived.

Years of fear about contacts.

Swearing oaths that I would never do this because it would cause me pain.

Experiencing great levels of fear of the unknown.

I attempted but blinked to keep the object from entering my eye.

I attempted again and again and again.

The doctor was very patient with me.

I attemped again.

And again

And again.

I did manage to get the lense to touch my eye but it wouldn't go in.  

I said to him, "I just can't get these in."

What he said to me, changed my life.  It was profound.

His words have stayed in my heart and head through the years and everytime I face something I want to do but fear holds me back, I hear those words.

He said, "You just don't want to wear them bad enough."

I said, "Yes I do."

He said, "then put em' in."

His voice was solid.  Absolute. Clear. 

And in the next try, I put them in.  Just like that.

Done.

Over.

Accomplished.

It wasn't as bad as I believed it would be.

The things I had imagined were non-existant.

I couldn't believe that I could see, without pain of objects in my eyes, and without physical frames wrapped around my face.

My life was changed.

I walked out of that doctors office that day with not only the freeom of contacts, but with the truth and knowledge that if I wanted something bad enough, I just had to do it.  

I had to do it in spite of wringing hands and a nervous stomach.  I had to do it in spite of what minds games were playing in my head.  

I've heard that doctor say those words to me over and over and over in life.  

I heard the when I wanted to start a home based business but knew I'd have to learn some things, some new attitudes, new skills, new personal growth, new friends and new… well, everything.

On the flip side of that was wanting what a home business could give me.  

Just like contacts would remove the frames from my face, a home based business would remove the chains from around my ankles that locked me to a job.  I would be free.

When you want it bad enough, you will do what you need to do to make it happen.

Click here now to see a simple home based business that I build, use to teach thousands of others how to do the same.

To Having The Life You Want…

Debbie