MLM Success: How To Conquer Your Self-Sabotage
MLM Success is sweet but to get there, the entrepreneur must stop self-sabotaging his or her efforts. And it's a common problem, even more than maybe you'd think.
Obviously this topic won’t apply to everyone; however, most people self-sabotage their future. I truly believe this is an accurate statement. It's one of the reasons it was taught this last weekend at the Empower Network event.
Have you ever thought you had momentum in business? Maybe you started seeing MLM Success and then after a certain period of time you watched your dreams fading away only to scratch your head and wonder what the heck happened?
If you’d like to ponder about the things in your life that perhaps you have self sabotaged and get to the root of the problem, you will want to read on.
My mentor shared with me a technique that anyone can use to change the underlying root of the problem that causes them to self-sabotage. And that's what I want to share with you here in this blog.
Mind you (no pun intended), I'm not a psychologist. I just read a lot of books on personal development and mindset and am sharing with you what I've learned. If you are suffering from self sabotage, you may want to seek out professional help to overcome. And you can. That's the good news.
What I'll do is give you three examples of self-sabotage and then a strategy to get rid of it.
What I’ve learned is this self-sabotage stems from events in our past that have caused some kind of pain (be it recent or back in our childhood) and is filed away in our subconscious mind. We are literally getting in our own way and are not even aware of it.
Your Subconscious Mind is Your Body Guard
Our subconscious mind will protect us at all costs. This means even when we have every intention of creating MLM Success in our business for example, and we speak that into audiblesounds as well as write it down on paper, if there's baggage in our subconscious mind that says "No, that will hurt you". In this case, we will grow our business to a certain point, a 'safe threshold' if you will, and then everything will fall apart to ensure we don't go on to continue to enjoy the MLM Success we want.
So why is that?
Humans run from pain and move toward pleasure. It’s just instinct. So when we encounter a feeling or emotion that has a negative event attached to it, our subconscious mind will step in the path of where we want to go and shut us down. And… we don't even know it's doing that. All we know is we failed.
Sounds weird, I know.
Here are just 3 areas that people self-sabotage in areas that they may not be even be aware of and which I'll use as examples.
- Committed Relationships
- Losing Weight or overeating
- Creating wealth in their life including MLM Success
Here's an illustration for each of these three areas to help you get a better perspective on what I'm talking about.
Self-Sabotaging Committed Relationships
Do you know anyone who was in a relationship and everything seemed to be fine until one or the other in the relationship starts to do something or act a certain way that causes dissension and there’s a breakup? And everyone is like… “What the heck happened?”
While there could be many different reasons, one possibility could be that the individual that started the dissension was afraid of a committed relationship because of an event that occurred in their past, even going back to their childhood and their subconscious mind is protecting them from future pain.
An example may be this person witnessed a terrible break up of their parents, or a parent died, or a past relationship ended ugly and hurtful . This event is filed in their subconscious mind for a lifetime.
What happens then is as this individual senses that a long term commitment is eminent, the subconscious mind remembered that when two people love each other, it doesn’t last, either through voluntarily breakup or death and therefore is protecting them from entering into a committed relationship so they can avoid the pain of doing the same thing.
He/she self-sabotaged the relationship to protect from future pain of loss.
Self Sabotaging Weight Loss
She goes like gangbusters. She starts losing weight, she’s feeling good, she’s looking good, her hair is shinier, her skin is softer, her legs and arms are starting to show muscle tone and everyone is telling her how great she’s looking.
Then one day for no reason, Mary binges. And she binges and binges and eats and eats and eats. And before long, she’s gained all her weight back plus an extra 5 pounds.
Now she's discouraged and depressed and for the life of her, she can’t figure out why she did that.
The outside world may judge Mary and say she’s just not disciplined or doesn’t want to lose weight bad enough.
But inside of Mary, something drastically is happening. It’s unseen. It’s her subconscious mind protecting her with her very life.
In Mary’s case, Mary’s subconscious mind was protecting her because what is filed away, although she does not consciously remember as she begins to binge, is that her Uncle Tom played hide and seek with her when she was 5 years old and told her how pretty she was, how soft her hair and skin were and molested her.
Her subconscious mind protects Mary at all cost and causes Mary to self-sabotage her weight loss and new healthy lifestyle so she would not be pretty because her subconscious mind knows what will happen if she’s pretty.
Until and unless Mary recalls this and trains her subconscious to associate looking good and being healthy with a good feeling and emotion, she will continue to self sabotage her weight loss. She self sabotaged because being pretty is associated with rape.
Self Sabotaging MLM Success
Bob grew up in a church that taught money was evil. He was told that rich people were condemned to hell.
Now Bob is grown and wants more for his family. He has strong desires about owning a nice home, driving a nice car and wants to send his kids to the best schools. He and his wife want to travel and give their kids life experiences and adventures he never could while growing up.
So Bob starts a home based business. He’s excited and he and his wife begin to build a network marketing business. His team grows and he’s starting to make significant income, maybe $50K or so.
Then for no apparent reason, there seems to be a downhill movement in his business.
He begins to go through the motions of building a business but he’s more busy than productive. Excuses why he can’t work get in the way. Life happens and rather than working in spite of it, he finds himself not showing up.
At the end of the day, his business falls apart and he’s back to square one. He decides that having a home business doesn’t work for him so he gives up. And actually, maybe he's done this a couple times in his life.
Well, it’s possible that his subconscious mind was protecting him at all costs from his belief that if he makes too much money, he’ll go to hell.
He was raised to believe that money and success are sinful. He desires to be an obedient son even in his adulthood.
But these are not conscious thoughts and in fact, Bob probably doesn’t even realize why he self sabotaged.
And until and unless he can replace the pain of hell and condemnation with the association of making money and enjoying success, he will never be able to make money. His subconscious mind won’t allow him.
Bob self-sabotaged to save his soul.
How to Conquer Your Self Sabotage
You can overcome any self-sabotaging behaviors.
So what can someone do when they find themselves hitting a wall and avoiding painful emotions, fearful emotions or self sabotaging?
First, identify the emotion and how you’re feeling at the moment when you catch yourself avoiding something you know you should be doing or not doing what you know you should be doing.
Second, recall a time in your past that you felt the same way and see what event or circumstance that is attached to.
Third, do an activity to change the file in your subconscious mind that RE-file a healthy attitude toward that emotion.
One way you can do that is to practice this before it happens (once you’re aware of it) and to implement the activity as it pops up in real life.
Here’s what to do.
Find two pieces of music.
One piece will be very sad and dreary.
One piece will be very happy, bouncy, energy and something you LOVE.
NOTE: You want to record your own music cutting and splicing so you are not interrupted during this exercise. Weave one minute of sad, then one minute of happy, then one minute of sad and one minute of happy and repeat until you have an exercise that about 5-6 minutes long.
So let's say you are finding yourself AVOIDING doing something you know you should be doing.
Notice how you are feeling. Pay attention to your body, your shoulders, your stomach, your forehead, your emotions.
What's going on?
Then think of a time in your life where you had those SAME feelings and emotions. What's attached to that?
Start your exercise. Put your music on starting with the sad.
Sit down and remember the event in your life that had the same emotion. Feel it. You may cry. You may feel heavy. You may hurt. You may be angry. Whatever you feel, feel it. Experience it.
Then play the happy, energy song you love and clear your mind. Don’t think about anything except just being happy. Get up and dance around. Bounce or jump around. Laugh out loud. Wave your arms in the air. Be free and light and love yourself. Do this for about a minute.
Then put the sad music back on and sit back down. Remember the pain and hurt and fear and anger, whatever associated with that event. Do that for a minute.
Then play the happy, energy song you love and clear your mind again. Don’t think about anything except just being happy. Get up and dance around. Bounce or jump around. Laugh out loud. Wave your arms in the air. Be free and light and love yourself. Do this for about a minute.
What you are doing is replacing the emotion that keeps your subconscious mind blocking you from moving forward in your life with happiness and pleasure.
If you do this a few times a week and whenever it surfaces, you will be amazed at where you are a year from now.
You deserve your best life. Do WHATEVER it takes to identify any baggage so you can move toward that life.