How To Stop Self Sabotaging Your Success
Having a plan to stop self sabotaging your success is critical. There’s a couple really big things you can do starting today to help you do that.
You know, I was lucky because I grew up in a household where whatever I said I wanted to do in life, I was supported in a way that led me to believe everything was possible.
“When I grow up mommy, want to be a princess ballerina.”
“When I grow up mommy, I want to be a famous actress.”
It didn’t matter what I said, my parents’ response was ‘That’s great honey, you can do anything you want to do and become whoever you want to become.”
The only thing was this…
My parents didn’t take that one step further and actually take steps to help me experience what that may be like. I decided as a parent, I would do that. I would take that a step further.
One of my sons at age 5 who gravitated to his dad’s baseball hat and glove while still in diapers…
“When I grow up mom, I want to play pro baseball”.
My son was in Little League and played ball all throughout his youth and even pitched as freshman on the varsity team. We had him at the batting cages, baseball camps, met players, went to Dodger games, spent hours after school catching while he pitched.
My other son, at 10 years old he told me,
“Mom… I’m going to own my own baseball card store and I know what it’s going to look like.”
We drew out the store layout, he went the local baseball card shop and hung out there for hours talking to the owner. I collected baseball cards with him, we went to baseball card shows, met players, took pictures, got autographs on hats, balls, cards, whatever we could find. We worked the math on how much money he needed to open his store, the works.
My daughter would tell me often as a middle school aged girl,
“I really want to be a dolphin trainer for my career.”
I drove my daughter to Florida to be a part of the dolphin trainer program when she was 16. I wanted to feed that dream, let her see it, touch it, talk to trainers. We bought posters (like the one you see here) that hung in her room. We talked about it all the time and she shared how it would feel and how amazing the experiences would be.
I know I’m fortunate to have supportive family and people in my life as are my children, however, we’re not immune to self sabotaging thoughts and words. We’re human. They sneak up on us. The instant a self sabotaging thought enters the mind, it’s got to be tackled and tossed out.
It’s not that now grow adults actually did those things, but I fed that dream in support. It created a positive “can do” atmosphere for my kids to dream, and work for, and grow into, the dreams they had as kids and kept pretty much through their growing up years. There weren’t told they can’t do something.
I also realize more and more, that that unlike my life, many people were not supported or taught how to take hold of self sabotaging thoughts.
They were told to “get real” about their dreams. Some were told they wouldn’t amount to anything, that they didn’t have what it takes or they just weren’t good enough.
Some had to pursue careers their parents dictated and didn’t have a voice.
No wonder there’s a lot of self sabotaging as adults.
It’s not your fault if you don’t know. But once you DO know, you must take full responsibility going forward.
There’s awesome news and that’s that you CAN turn everything around and start winning in business and in life.
Here’s a couple strategies to help you do that.
Strategy 1: How To Stop Self Sabotaging Your Success
There are two strategies, that if applied, will definitely stop self sabotaging your success.
If I told you would you do it?
If you knew how to stop it, would it matter?
How bad do you want to create a new life and get new and different results?
I hope so, however, it’s not up to me.
You see, the thing about self sabotaging your success is an inner game. It’s not something anyone can do for you, rather it’s something you have to make a decision about. And only you can make that decision.
It’s 100% about YOUR THINKING and BELIEFS
So then, to stop self sabotaging, you have to THINK and BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY, right?
That’s the medicine that turns this around.
Libraries are stocked full of self help on this matter so it doesn’t cost you anything but desire and reading and application of what you learn. Basically a decision to change.
Most people are so programmed, by default, by habit, to believe things about themselves and their abilities that simple are not true and then they use words that are not self serving to speak those lies into the universe. Words like:
I can’t do this
I keep failing
I’m hanging in there
This doesn’t work
I never get a good result
This never works for me
I’m frustrate all the time
Nobody wants to join me
Nobody wants to buy my products
They also use transition words that are powerful yet defeating
I want to do this ….
This is where one make a positive statement and then uses a transition word to justify why they can’t.
This is called an excuse trying to pass as justification because of a deeper reason called fear.
Here’s some statements so you can see what I’m talking about.
I want to have a positive mindset BUT I have such a terrible past.
I want to generate leads EXCEPT its so hard.
I can’t write a story ad BECAUSE I failed grammar. I can’t spell and I hate it.
I wish I could get results BUT I just struggle all the time.
Listen to all these statements! These are affirmations about a belief that’s not true but because that is someone’s truth and it’s affirmed to the universe, that is the way it has to be and the individual saying these things will always have what they have.
If you speak like this, then you are absolutely right in all of these statements. And, if you want the same results, just keep declaring and affirming that this is way it is.
You are calling on the universe to prove you right and make your statement “stick”.
If however, you want to stop self sabotaging your success, start saying something different. You can say the truth about what you’re experiencing but say it in a way that expresses hope.
Let’s take the above affirmations and turn them into statements that empowers you and says a good outcome.
I want to have a good mindset and I will because my past does not dictate my future.
I want to generate leads and I’m discovering how to do this simply.
I am using spell checker to write my story ads and it’s a great tool.
I expect to get results because I’m learning and truly showing up for work
Do you see the difference between the victim and the victor in these two sets of statements?
You will get what you say. Start saying what you want and watch your words!
Strategy 2: How To Stop Self Sabotaging Your Success – See Proof
I hear this a lot. “Debbie, I just can’t move past all the terrible things in my life. If you only knew the pain and suffering I’ve endured.”
So here’s what you do.
You can look around you and see others who have been through horrific abuse, horrific loss, who started late in life, who where told they were big time losers, etc. and see that they have risen to success.
If you dwell in victim mode, you’ll always be a victim.
If you dwell on victor mode, you can rise up and use your story to inspire and help others who are where you’re at and desperately need you to show up in their lives.
Think of Oprah who was sexually abused as a child and went on to make a tremendous impact in the world as well as created tremendous wealth.
Think of Michael Jordan who didn’t make his freshman high school basketball team and has missed more than 9,000 shots in his career.
Think of Colonel Sanders who at age 65, started selling his fried chicken and went on to create a fortune. Age is not a factor.
Just like these individuals, you dictate your experience. Look at success stories all around you. In fact, many entrepreneur, oddly enough, arose from a place of pain, loss, suffering, abuse, even lack of college, and did so through vision, purpose, self-education, determination and absolute commitment.
If others can do it, it proves you can too.
SELF-SABOTAGE “WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?”
People who struggle with success and those who don’t, have one big difference between them.
Those who struggle stare at their results and circumstances.
Think about that for a minute and then ask yourself what you’re focusing on.
What are you staring at?
What circumstances are you staring at and focused on?
What result are you staring at and focused on?
Don’t stare and focus on your circumstances, your problems and challenges.
Stare at WHO you want to become and what you want to accomplish, then focus on THAT.
Stop Your Self Sabotaging Behaviors: Take The Challenge
It’s time to step up your game by stopping your self sabotaging thoughts and words.
Take the challenge.
Here’s a checklist of things that you can make a deliberate decision to start doing if you stopping self sabotage is important to you.
___ Kick all self defeating thoughts to the curb and don’t allow the words and actions of others to effect you.
___ Have a game plan already prepared for when the thoughts and words you think your others say to you that are not serving you.
___ Be determined that people and words cannot hurt you or change your mind about who you are, your value, your goals or your life’s work. Any negativity will roll off your shoulders onto the ground where you can stomp it to death.
___Guard your own thoughts and words. Take all thoughts captive if they are self defeating and label them a lie. Speak truth about your self-serving life-giving words, out loud and to the universe.
___Discover and read about successful entrepreneurs who rose up from the ashes of pain, suffering, loss, lack of education, abuse, and who started late in life.
___Read about those just made it happen as they will share their struggles and challenges to the top.
___Understand that challenges help you grow up as entrepreneur. They make you strong. They make you a better version of yourself. They give you experience so you can help others. Don’t take challenges person. It’s normal. It’s part of the growth to success.
___ When you read others’ stories, you see you’re not alone. It’s proof it can be done and you can do it too.
___ Stay in expectation that you’ll get to where you want to go and be patient with yourself.
___ Stay the course.
___ Stay in personal development and train your mind to believe and see that all things are possible.
___ Stay connected to people going in the same direction as you.
If you can do these things, you will grow by leaps and bounds and be on the road to achieving what you want.
Wishing for you everything you dream of and the success you desire.
Follow me on Facebook HERE
Follow me on Instagram HERE
If you need training, leads, free giveaways, and support, click HERE
PS: If you are looking to get started on a path of home based business entrepreneurship CLICK HERE and let’s talk.