How To Not Live A Default Life

default life I remember as a little girl, I used to lay on the front lawn of the house and look up into the sky on a cloudy day.

I’d use my imagination and find things in the clouds by the way they were formed.  Remember doing that?

I’d see clouds in the forms of an elephant, a car, a lion… and when you waited long enough and just kept watching, those would disappear and you’d see something else.

I loved that!

I’d dream about life.

I’d dream about what I wanted be when I grew up.

I imagined what my grown up life will be.  It didn’t cross my mind however, that I’d have troubles.  I didn’t know troubles.  I didn’t know about grown up life at all.

Toward the end of my high school years, I still wondered what my grown up life would be like.  I didn’t have a husband in the wings yet I was groomed to be a homemaker and my parents were planning to move across country as soon as I graduated.  Kinda scary.  There was never a discussion about me going to college.

My dad owned an appliance store so he make arrangements for me to work as a secretary there after graduation.

And I did.

And they moved away.

All of a sudden I was grown up, my parents were a 4 days drive away and I was responsible for myself.  I had my bed, my clothes and a half dozen boxes of childhood memories, my car and a minimum wage job.  I moved in with my parents’ friends and arranged for room and board for exchange for babysitting and light housekeeping.

I ask myself again as I lay in bed at night looking up at the ceiling…..

How did I get there from my dreams as a little girl?

It wasn’t at all like I had imaged.

I didn’t know about personal development, goal setting, visualizing, or going after what I wanted.  And because of that, I fell into a default life.


I was living a default life and didn’t know it.


As time went on… I got married.   We were scraping to get by.  In fact when we got married, we had no furniture.  We sat on the floor.  We slept on my twin bed from girlhood.

Again, it wasn’t at all like I had imaged.  I thought married people at least had furniture and money and food!

I got pregnant even though precautions were in place.   Isn’t that par for the course?  Now I don’t regret having children, nor the timing.  I love my kids, more than life.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  What I wished I had… was the knowledge about creating the life we wanted.   I never got that education.

I was in wedded bliss and was now going to have a baby, poverished and all.  How many of you know when you’re young and in love, the world seems to be okay no matter what because you’re full of hope for the future and you have each other?  I think I heard a bunch of “Amens!”

I did however, find myself every now and then pondering about my circumstances.  I would think back on my girlhood dreams compared to that of my reality…and ask the question…’how did I get to where I was?”  Again…It wasn’t at all like I had imagined.

Have you heard the saying… “What you don’t know can hurt you?”  Knowledge about living a default life is one of those things.  Study about it and get to know how to not live a default life!

Do you ever ponder about your life?


Are you anything like I was asked yourself these questions?

How you got where you’re at today? 

Is it was you expected?

Did you have dreams and plans that never came to pass because ‘life happened’ or things just didn’t go the way you thought they would?

Did you meet people and it put you on a different path?

Did you have disappointments that took your breath away?

If you’re like most people, probably.  We would be human if we didn’t experience these things.

What I wish more than anything…. is that I had the knowledge of how to live a life a purpose and not of default.  And if you are just now learning about this stuff, I want to offer a few tips that when I discovered and applied, saw a significant difference in the life I was able to create and am still creating.

Good stuff!


How To Not Live A Default Life

live a default life

Zig Ziglar said it best… “Get a check up from the neck up.

We are the living the results of our best thinking!

That may be an awesome life… or that may be a ‘less than’ life, or what I call a ‘default life.’

The good news is this.  Regardless of the life you’ve created thus far, can be changed if there’s aspects you don’t like.

You know….

… it wasn’t until much later in my adult life that I began to go through personal development and growth that I understood clearly that everything that I had and have is a result of my best thinking.

I didn’t understand that I was able to control my life’s circumstances by what I believed about myself, my limitations, my thoughts and goals.

I didn’t understand I could create wealth… relationships… opportunities… by focusing and thinking and using the right words and belief systems all backed by faith.

Most people go through life and not give their mind a ‘workout”.  I didn’t.  I didn’t even know about this stuff.  I didn’t grow up around it.  I never heard or read about it.

So think about this…

  • We exercised our body.
  • We eat the right foods.
  • We get eye exams.
  • We get dental checkups.
  • We get yearly physicals.
  • When we are sick we get to the doctor for a remedy.


When things are not going right in our life, when things happen, when doors seem to shut, when we are stuck in life with no seeming purpose or destiny, when we settle in a accept the mediocrity of our lives… when we start blaming others or circumstances… these are SYMPTOMS of a broken mindset.

And if we don’t get the antidote inside of us, it leads to a default life.

how to not live a default life

Here’s 5 tips to get you started on the right path…

TIP #1 Identify your dreams and goals.  You can’t get to where you want to be in life if you are not clear about what you want and where to head.

TIP #2  Pray and ask God will show you what your destiny and purpose is.  He created you and He intimately knows you.  When you seek Him, He’ll reveal Himself to you and help you with your life’s purpose.  Too many times business people, leaders and trainers leave the spiritual side out of the equation.  The Bible is our handbook for life and God is the designer and creator of your life.

Jeremiah 29:11 says….

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.”

TIP #3  Once you have your dreams, goals and purpose, decide what vehicle you will use to accomplish that.  Dreams and goals almost always require money to fulfill.  Money is just energy.  It’s just a means to an end.  It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just something if you have, can bring about an end result.  God also calls us to abundance!

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

What good are we when we do not position ourselves to feed the hungry and care for others who cannot help themselves.  We need overflow and abundance in our lives to meet needs in the lives of others.

TIP #4  Commit to your dreams and goals for the long haul.  Don’t give up and give in.  That will put you back in mediocrity.  That will cause you feel even worse about your situation because you gave up on yourself and this leads to living in regret.  That’s no place to be.

Nothing in life worthwhile is a ‘give me’.  We have to work for that which we want in life.  There’s no free rides. 

  • An athlete doesn’t win the olympics without years of training.
  • A marriage doesn’t stay together without years of working to make it better.
  • Children don’t automatically grow up responsible.  It takes years of role modeling and guidance and prayer.
  • A surgeon doesn’t just start cutting people open.  They spend years in the text book and in class and in apprenticeship before they can do that.
  • A teacher doesn’t just start teaching with a degree first.

You can apply this principle to any area of of working, of becoming an expert in your hobby or sport, of circumstance.

If you want to have a lifestyle through a home based business, it’s gonna take work and commitment over the long haul. 

The good news is that you can earn while you learn, unlike most other professions.  So while you’re working on a lifestyle, you can be practicing excellence in your job, in your family, within your relationships, in your self growth, and build your home business on that.

Sales will come… work your way up to being able to replace your job income… and keep building, keep working.

As you gain extra income, learn to be a good steward of that and start investing while you continue to build.

Do you see the layers?

It’s not a 1 week event.  Or a 1 year event.  It’s a way of life.

TIP #5  Understand how the whole mind thing works.  Read Think and Grow Rich… The Secret of Millionaire Mind… books like these.   This is what personal development is all about.  You are developing your personal self.

Just like if you were to start a workout routine for your physical body, you want to start a workout routine for your mindset.  This is personal development and growth.

Stay grounded in personal development, around successful and positive people and seeking God for your strength and focus.  Never, ever, ever stop growing yourself.  The moment you do, you start to go backwards.

These tips will serve you well.

And these are not my own tips.. I did not create them.

These are tips I received from those who have gone before me who had what I wanted.  And I studied them and applied them to my own life.  And I have a pretty darn good life and getting better all the time!  They work!

I can assure you my friends, that the best is yet to come!

It’s not too late for new life!

You CAN have… and be… and do… anything you can imagine!

I would challenge you today to ponder about whether you have chosen a default life and if you like where you’re at.

If not, know now… that you can change any part of your life that you don’t like.

Decide what you DO like… what you DO want and go after it with gusto!

You deserve your best life!

I’m cheering you on my friend!

Have an awesome ‘ purposeful” day!

internet marketing home based business


PS:  Leave me a comment below and let’s talk about this… I love this stuff!  What are you doing right now to effect change in your life, to create abundance, to share your gifts and talents to impact the world and to prepare to change lives?

PPS:  If you want to know what I’m doing and partner with me in business, click here.




  1. says

    I write so many blog comments for the sake of commenting to get backlinks:) but this is truly from my heart. I read each and every email you sent and the blog post too, because I can relate to it emotionally and I can realize that you are speaking from your heart. It really motivates me a lot to set my goals higher and to succeed in life. Keep up the good work Debbie and I'm sure you can touch the lives of more and more people around the world.

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