I made a post on my Facebook wall yesterday because I was fired up mad about what someone had told me. Here's what happened.
I met a young woman this last weekend, a single mom, who shared with me that her parents and those she loved have told her she'd never amount to anything.
That broke my heart! I can't image the pain of being the recipient of those words, especially from the people in our lives who should love us the most and be our biggest cheerleaders.
I wanted to cry.
So I wrote this:
I Received Private Email
I was surprised by comments and mostly personal messages from people who saw that and responded.
Because SO MANY had shared that this message is close to home with them and they are just like the person I spoke of.
What is wrong with people to speak to others with such words of death?!
Can I say…You Are Amazing!
Let me just say that if you have a vision for your life, a dream you have deep inside for something more, something better and something new, you deserve to have that.
You are a wonderful human being created uniquely YOU. God doesn't make mistakes and He doesn't make junk. The Bible tells us that we were wonderfully knit in our mother's womb and He has a purpose and destiny for each of us.
There are people in this world who are waiting for YOU to show up and guide them, help them, inspire them and only YOU can fill those shoes. Don't let others tell you that you don't measure up or are not good enough. That's hogwash!
You have special gifts and talents and whether you see them or not, they exist. You need to find them. Or, if you are aware of them, you need to use them.
Studies show that most of the time the people who puke on you, have been hurt and puked on themselves and they don't know how to deal with that or heal. So rather, they lash out at you and speak death words into your life, as someone else has done with them.
If you can understand that, it may help a little to see them as a victim themselves but not take that upon you.
I'm NOT saying this is a valid excuse … it's NEVER acceptable and it's NOT OK… but by reframing their puke on you with the knowledge that's learned behavior from them puking, it may help you heal faster.
5 Tips For Finding The Power Of You
Here are a few strategies that you can put into place to help you overcome the puke of death talk into your life.
1) Rebuke any death words.
Death words are words that people speak at you and into your life that don't serve you. These are negative, destroying, killing words that hurt and pierce the heart, soul and mind. Understand that these words are lies ! These are words that promote failure, low self esteem, no confidence, hatefulness, humiliation, and worthlessness. I could go on, but you get what I'm saying.
When someone speaks that into your life, you say out loud…
"I rebuke that. You have no idea how awesome I am!"
and remove yourself from that person immediately. Or, say it to yourself and remove yourself from that person immediately. Do NOT believe those words. Put a shield of knowledge between you and those words because YOU KNOW you're awesome. Don't allow those words to seed and take root!
2) Get New Friends
Start weeding people from your life that bring you down. You cannot have the life you dream of if you keep people around who want to tear you down. You will need to find new friends. Friends that will support your dreams and be your biggest cheerleaders. Oftentimes these are individuals who are in your home business industry and understand positive influence and game plans. I've gone through this process. As the olds one leave, you make room for new ones. It's a hard thing sometimes, but it's necessary and you will be happier and healthier and more successful when you do. Don't put this off!
3) Read Personal Development Books
Start reading books on personal development. Inside these books, you will be given stories of those people who were just like you and have overcome to go on to create the life they want. You'll discover ways to retrain your brain patterns and thoughts that will allow you to start gaining back your confidence and self esteem, your courage and your zest for life. You will draw strength and courage and peace to do what you need to do to move forward.
4) Start listening to audios daily.
Same principle as reading, but listening to audio delivers the message to you in a different way. You want to take in the information using all your senses. Listen to personal development, inspiration and success audios.
5) Find a Mentor
Find a mentor who specialized in overcoming and personal growth and do what they tell you to do. If you need, get professional help. Get the help you need so you live the life you want.
I don't know what your beliefs are but I can tell you from experience, the great healer of broken hearts and spirits is Jesus Christ. Take your hurts and pains and brokenness before Him in prayer and ask Him to heal you, Ask Him to show you who you are and what your purpose and destiny is. He can take what the enemy (who I call Satan) meant to destroy and turn it into life and something beautiful. Seek Him out for help, for guidance, for healing and restoration. His power is mighty and He promises when you seek Him, He's there.
Get a book on how to create affirmations or Google it. You'll find many examples. Basically, it's a list that YOU make and it says what you are as you envision yourself being.
"I am loved and wanted."
"I have greatness inside of me."
"I make a difference in the lives of others."
"I can do anything I set my mind to."
"I have tremendous value and worth."
And say these affirmations every morning and night.
You rock on my friend! Leave me a comment and let me know how you deal with people in your life that don't support you. Share your victories and stories of overcoming!
Have a plan of action from here on out that allows you to be aware that it's NOT YOU… IT'S THEM. The one who is spewing poison is the one who is powerless.
Know your plan to REBUKE their words and WALK AWAY. Rehearse that in your mind and follow through. Stand stall, speak words into your own life with your affirmations and smile at the awesomeness of who you are. Start making a list of people you want to start walking away with and start that process.
Do the things you need to do as outlined above so that you can discover your power and start walking to a new beat in life. You deserve it all my friend!
Other articles I've written:
How to Deal With Relationship Changes Along Your Personal Development Journey
3 Tips On How To Keep Friends While Building Your Business
Mixing Friendships and Network Marketing
As usual, your blog is full of inspiration, encouragement and ways to solve the issues. I always do my best to be a positive influence to anyone looking to change the course of their life situation.
I, too, fell into that category where I had those around me scoff at my ideas, do their best to prove to me that I was not capable enough to succeed and for a time I did believe that I was not good enough and not worthy of success and happiness.
I am happy to say though, between reading and listening to personal development and finding you, Debbie Turner, (who through your posts and emails gave me the courage to keep pushing to get past those that I was allowing to hold me back) I am on my way to letting my talents and abilities surface.
Thank you for always reaching out with genuine encouragement AND the steps to help others regain control of their lives!
Debbie Turner says
Thanks so much for your comment and words that actually inspire me right back. You are a blessing in my life and no doubt, millions of others who are and will be, coming across your path and meeting you and getting to know your heart and passion. People are blessed to know you!